This thing has been happening,
revolves around a person, on a second thought..
At nights, naturally. but really, as usually
has got nothing to do wth the person
cant help, cant wont do anything. Anything about that persons choice to get involved with my life.
they, she, he, whatever u wanna call her, is cool and needs to stick around... somehow..
-I used to -actually- think that I have made no mistakes (no mistakes: as in knwing the possible circumstance and chose the 'good' somehow) But Ive broken my 'rules' a little to often since Ive been in the US.. Never till today (even with everyone I loved and respected- My friends, some true and some forever -which I have done wrong to) I havent felt so horrible catching myself in the act of trying to slip away from the stare of the 'good'/'right' in me.. I tried hiding behind alcohol.. said to him that I was drunk therefore excused.. but he knows.. makes it so much weaker.. pathetic
Its 7:00 am fiday, before class
not only with wine or beer, but with memory; nostalgia as my oold self would say... Its pathetic..
Im a little to old* for that..
To hear someone talk about my sister (which they only heard only two words about -and that being from me) and cry my fuckin eyes out on no warning
And just wish I was drunk
foreseeing, not able to act, scared, questioned; pathetic
not in control
yours so goddamn sincerely,
Listening to: Circus-Tom Waits
Watching: no one